The only thing not so lucky about the whole trip is that I get EXTREMELY sea sick so I prepared by getting a prescription sea sickness patch. It works, don't get me wrong, but there are some unpleasant side effects that come with it. Scopalomine, the drug in the patch, is an Atropine derivative so it can make your pupils dilate just like the drops you get when you get an eye exam. It did this to me except one pupil was bigger than the other. Not only did I look like a nutjob but I couldn't see very well unless I was in the sun. Another side effect is "delayed gastric emptying." Combine that with the fact that I was eating more food than I had probably ate my entire life and at some point I'm pretty sure I contracted a parasite from the raw fish I was eating and I had myself a very awkward predicament.
Alright, there's no way I can really get around this without being blunt. I had the worst case of diarrhea I have ever had in my entire life. The kind where if you don't find a toilet RIGHT NOW you're going to crap your pants. There was a lot of bathroom window opening, faucet running and shitting in holes.
When you're on a remote little island like this and you HAVE to go, you hang behind a bit, wait for the one person you're with to round a corner out of ear, nose, and eye shot, dig a hole, and poop in it. Hey man, I had to doo what I had to doo.
So yes, it was free, but I did pay a price.
Other than that it was one of the most awesome vacations ever! We fished A LOT!
I was laying in the cabin of the boat because I felt a little woozy then all of a sudden I heard a bunch of shouting and running around on deck. Then the door swung open and Dave yelled "Do you want to catch a fucking Marlin?!" Of course I did, are you crazy?! I wobbled my nauseous, little ass out there, they put me in the fighting chair, and off I went. I think I reeled for like 20 or 30 minutes. It was a beautiful 100 or so pound White Marlin.
I ate a lot of food, drank a lot of drinks, drank Moet for the first time, got nipped at Nippers and made an ass of myself, island hopped, got an amazing tan, got caught in a storm on a dinghy, and was wading waste high when two Lemon Sharks decided to show up. It was awesome and what vacations are suppose to be made of.
This story is SO awesome, it needs to become legendary. I'm so glad you finally wrote it down!!!!!!! (Thought nothing will ever be as good as hearing you tell the deets in person, in the backseat of my car.:)
ReplyDeleteI love a girl that can shit in a hole. This had nothing to do with food poisoning, but once at work I had to go so bad I was running to the bathroom. Didn't make it to the toliet on time. Therefore I DID make it in my roos and on the floor right in front of the toliet. At work.
ReplyDeleteIt's good times when you're wearing a skirt at work with no underwear because you just crapped so much in them.
Oh! And Moet! I have some of that in the fridge from a gift a LONG time ago. Still haven't tried it. I didn't even really know what it was, but considering I DO know it's alcohol, I should be shamed for not drinking it already.